Sunday 24 May 2015

Back from Memphis



I know lots of people check my blog regularly to check in on how I'm feeling.  I apologize for taking so long to post an update.  We decided to take a little family vacation somewhat last minute.  Actually we had planned it a long time ago; however, then the plan was to drive 20 hours to visit our good friends in Memphis.  My back pain was definitely not going to allow me to sit for that many consecutive hours, and we decided we would have to postpone our plans.  A few family members disagreed with us, and graciously offered to help pay for us to fly to Memphis, which only took 4 hours.  So we bought our tickets only a few days before we flew away for our week-long get away.   It was such a blessing to take a little break from life for all 4 of us.  Our dear Memphis friends welcomed us into their home and made sure our time away from home was as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.  We ate amazing meals, visited the most interesting parts of Memphis, relaxed and got caught up on life.  Distance has definitely not affected our friendship.  Being in the presence of friends who care for us and love us so deeply was good for all of our souls.  I surprised myself on many occasions and did way more than I thought I could.  Before we left, I imagined my family would go off and enjoy tourist attractions while I rested by the pool.  But they were all patient with my slow pace and included me on all of their excursions; I toured the Civil Rights Museum, walked Beale Street, visited Graceland, and walked through a variety of downtown attractions.  Throughout our touring I was consistently reminded of suffering.  So many African Americans lived through extreme suffering as slaves.  They were treated with incredible injustice.  Martin Luther King Jr. died at a young age as he fought for justice and to end the suffering.   Even Elvis suffered; he died young because of his suffering.  Suffering is everywhere; it's a part of this life.  I was reminded that my suffering is small compared to so many others.  Suffering is a part of living on earth, so wishing it away is useless.  Injustice is also a part of this life that takes on so many forms.  This was good for my perspective, as I've been stuck feeling sorry for myself a lot lately.  I am tired of taking so much Advil.  I'm tired of always being in pain.  I'm tired of not sleeping more then 2 hours without waking up.  I'm tired of stomach pain from too many pain meds.  But it's my life right now.  It's what I've been dealt, so instead of wishing it all away I need to be thankful for what I can do, for the help that I'm getting, for the support I have as I keep moving forward.  Today I am especially thankful that I got to travel with my family.  I'm thankful that my pain is changing; as I have become more active, I have started experiencing some muscle building pain.  I'm thankful that I have time to take a nap most days to help make up for the loss of sleep.  I'm thankful that in this place where I have been extremely discouraged and frustrated, I have heard God say, "I will carry you" over and over.  I am extremely thankful that He has come through and carried me.  I could have never travelled without His strength.  Most mornings I couldn't get out of bed without His strength.  I'm also thankful for our upcoming summer.  It's my season of regaining strength and hopefully achieving better health all around.....it is what I still hope for.  It motivates me to keep going.

Sunday 3 May 2015

Triple Talk

Life continues to be an adventure.  My pain has had it's ups and downs.  I had a few days of hardly any pain, which was such a gift.  Currently, I have returned to lower back pain that shoots down my legs.  But the days of less pain were after a specific treatment, which means we've probably figured out the source of my pain and now have some direction on how to treat it.  So I'm feeling much more hopeful that less pain will be achieved (soon).  I am definitely starting to walk more and get around better, which is great since it's been beautiful outside.  My goal for the next few weeks is to build up some stamina.  After laying around so much for the past several weeks, I've lost my endurance.  Hopefully it will come back quickly.  One bit of great news, that I'm almost scared to share because it's so recent, is that I'm sleeping so much better.  I usually only wake up twice a night now and can usually go back to sleep fairly quickly.  This is a huge improvement from waking up every 2 hours and often staying awake for long periods of time.  This alone helps me feel better, although I do feel like I need several weeks of this to catch up for all the lost sleep over the past few months!

Amongst ups and downs with pain, I have spoken to over 600 women this past week.  I spoke at 2 spring teas, both held in churches, where I shared my journey and specifically shared how my faith has carried me through everything that we have been dealt.  I was once again reminded after each of these speaking opportunities that every woman has a story, and everyone has hardships.  So many incredible women came to share their stories with me after, and to encourage/thank me for sharing mine with them.  One particular lady held both my hands and thanked me for giving her new strength.  She didn't share what she needed strength for, but I could see a light shining in her eyes that she was ready for battle, to face her hardship head on because God was going to guide every move she made.  Meeting women like this is why I speak, why I love speaking.  It makes all the prep time and the anxiety of getting in front of an audience worth it.

The third event that I spoke at was The South Central Cancer Care Fashion Show fundraiser.  This was a unique speaking experience because it was with my mom.  We were asked to inspire.....from a patient perspective and from a volunteer perspective.  My mom is a volunteer driver for cancer patients that need to travel from Morden to Winnipeg for their treatments.  It was incredibly special to be able to speak together.  After we spoke, we got to watch an amazing fashion show and be a part of a fun evening.  We had lots of love and support at our table, including my sister-in-law (see picture below).  It was an honour to be part of this really amazing night for a good cause.   What's really amazing is that each day that I was scheduled to speak, I didn't feel well.  On all 3 days, my back was exceptionally sore, and I lay around a lot, wondering how I would ever get up and speak that evening.  It was truly a miracle to experience my pain disappear and my energy increase as the evening approached.  God met me in my state and gave me what I needed to get through each evening.  I am so thankful to Him.

So it's been an adventurous week of ups and downs.  When I sit and reflect on all that happens in a week, I can't help but wonder what this next week will bring....